Cold hands, warm shart.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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