Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
