pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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