evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
