My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
