I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
