let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
