how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
