How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
