I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
