Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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