if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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