I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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