You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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