Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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