You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
