can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
