i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
