i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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