We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You're a waste of cheezeits
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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