If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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