You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
