he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
