ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
