Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
