Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
