17 year olds will be the death of me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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