Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
