Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
