How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
