just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
