About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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