Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
