Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
