Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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