actually, I'm a sock model
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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