yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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