No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
