East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
