Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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