u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just want nice things and good sex
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
