Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
