highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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