I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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