508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I am one with the molecules
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
