I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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