I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
