Already got asked if we're dating
420 ftw
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
