Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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