Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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