but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
