Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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